Just a little Shut Eye

I am deep sleeper. And by deep I mean my dog sleeps with me (I know gross what about the hair, I get it I should have kicked him out when he was still a puppy. I didn't he was adorable). I have tried to break this habit numerous times, but no matter how many times I kick him off and fall asleep with him in his appropriate spot of the floor I wake up with him under the sheets. I know I let him in my sleep and have no recollections of it. I can carry on conversation I will not remember in the morning. I am a deep sleeper.

In addition to this I sleep through the night. I don't wake up to pee to get a glass of water, to check my phone to see the time. I get into bed decided to sleep (fall asleep nearly instantaneously) and don't wake up until my alarm rouses me.

So when I complain about waking up in the middle of the night and people reply that it happens all the time I wonder how they live their lives on a day to day bases. I mean a rough night of sleep and I am thrown off for the entire day.

Such a night happened to me last night. I slept horribly. I tossed and turned and felt ill. No literally felt ill. I had a cough and a sore throat and was horribly sick. So in this deluded state I thought I better just e-mail work and tell them I am not going to make it. So I sent the e-mail from my phone to my bosses work email. Falling back in t my restless slumber knowing I was in for a day at home that would be crappy due to my being sick.

However when I finally did get up from bed I was fine. No cough no sore throat nothing. Yep I dreamt I was sick!! I was hoping in my deluded sleep that I did not in fact send that e-mail (I didn't) envisioning all types of typos and garbled words (I have an awful tendency on my phone to hit the letter 'v' instead of the space bar it can make things very difficult to decipher).

So there you have it a crappy nights sleep where even when I was sleeping I was worried about work and being sick. ( I know I know you are thinking what a whiner I get up in the middle of the night all the time - but hey cut me a break think about how thrown off you'd be if you got a good nights sleep).

Everybody Poops

On occasion one must use the restroom at work. And on occasion you need to use this public facility for a bigger job. You spend the majority of your day there (at work not the bathroom), and if you’ve never needed to use the bathroom then maybe you should get something checked out.

Today happened to be one of those days. As I entered the bathroom I noted my usual stall (come on like you don’t have a preference) was locked and no one was in it. This didn’t surprise me since I had noticed the day before that the water level was low in this toilet and chance of an overflow appeared eminent. I of course reported this immediately. Nothing worse than an overflowing toilet (well being the one to instigate the catastrophic flush as opposed to a witness would be the worst). So I moved to the next stall.

I would also like to note that out of usual courtesy to my co-workers I use the toilet a floor down (I don’t know those people). Today has been a busy day so I thought I’ll get this done fast.

As I enter the stall, set the paper on the seat and prepare myself a knock happens on the door. “Maintence!” Crap I think to my self – should have seen this coming. “Someone’s in here!” Was my disgruntle reply. I was tempted to hold it and leave but….thought hey I have to go.

Needless to say when someone is waiting for your exit, it makes for some uncomfortable eye contact avoidance.

I usually keep my personal business – you know personal – but I thought in the world where a private bathroom is not always your only option you (my readers – whoever you are) might appreciate my plight.

Consignment

So I am not much of a consignment shopper, mainly because I am snobby. I smell things that aren't there, yet I am jealous of people who do score total deals. Also I think I am bitter because whenever I try to sell some of my clothes they always reject them, and I swear my clothes are better than the crap they have there all the time.

I do however thoroughly enjoy spending time with friends. So when my friend said she found the biggest consignment store in the state and asked me to tag along I was more than willing to go. I did not come prepared with clothes to sell (due to all my failed attempts in the past) I felt it wasn't worth the effort.

The two friends I went with however brought several bags between them to sell. And the reaction was fantastically humiliating.

As mentioned I am not a pro at consignment shopping, however I have tried several times, and my friends are pros, on in particular I think buy nearly everything second hand (and she has some good stuff!). I didn't find it strange that they had their things in bags.

This consignment store is all about efficiency though. They only take things on hangers - you know wrinkly clothes just don't sell. I did find the commentary unnecessary. When taking things out of my friends bag (which admittedly looked like they been living in her trunk for several weeks) they could barely conceal their sneers of disgust. And saying; "These wadded up things won't sell," was a little much.

My other friend had neatly folded her clothes and brought her hangers....rejected! Apparently sitting in the car for about an hour generates to many wrinkles as well. This leads me to believe that when I drive to work, the clothing I am wearing would be considered unacceptable.

My favorite comment was when they tried to sell shoes and the woman looked at my friend and said "Would you want to put your feet in here?" What is she supposed to say to that, well I used but not any more that's why I am trying to sell them to you.

Needless to say we walked with our heads hung down in shame, back to the car, dropped the stuff off. Then shook the humiliation off and headed back in. I mean we'd driven an hour to get there and it is the biggest consignment shop in the state!

I did not fully overcome my snobbery in regards to consignment shops (no clothes for me) but I did find this really awesome coach purse.

It was a pretty good day all in all and a good find for me!

When you know you made the right choice.

One of the most difficult purchases a person makes (after a swim suit) is jeans. They have become this all encompassing thing. You were them out at night you wear them to the market on Saturday and if they do not fit right then you might as well be wearing sweats. And if you ask anyone the most important thing you need to fit is the butt.

So I bought some new jeans recently. The pair I bought was on sale so you know that could go either way. Was I seduced by the fit or by the price? Sometimes when something is such a good deal it is a tough call.

The maiden voyage of these jeans was Friday. They went to work and then they went out with me. I didn’t think they were that flashy, just your basic medium wash, skinny jean (and not jeggings) that are super soft and stretchy so comfort was the main reason I purchased them. I thought the focus would be more on my shoes, or my jacket. The jeans stole the show.

First comment: “Hey, I never noticed that you have such a nice butt. But you have a really nice butt.” As most people would I shrugged I said “I know.” (And this was from someone I have hung out with multiple times and a dude).

Second comment: “Those guys we just walked past were totally checking your butt out.” (And they were black men – I don’t want to encourage the stereotype – but Sir Mix-A-Lot thoroughly convinced me otherwise).

Needless to say the pants were an inspired purchase. The only problem with the jeans is now I want to wear them all the time.

A Chance Encounter

After some wikipedia research this morning I discovered that there are around 6,500 DeLorean's in exsistance. To find out why this is relevant read on.

As I am exiting Starbucks, drink in hand(venti steamed hazlenut soy) I happened upon this arresting sight. A car door that doesn't open in a normal manner, instead it raises up like the wing of a bird. I ask myself could this be possible? Is this what I think it is?

A man is standing beside this door, well groomed afro, brown suit. And smiles at me I nodd good morning and wrangle myself and aforementioned into drink my car. I exit my parking space and make sure that the direction I'm heading is towards this car, the one with door like wings.

I was correct this is this mythical thing called the DeLorean and I have seen it in person.

Is it possible that the brown suited, afro'd man has headed back to the future?

Current Frame of Mind

I know I have been talking a lot about weddings and for someone who claims they don’t like anything to do with weddings 2 posts in a row is a lot.

Here’s the thing though, I have found that a wedding is does not just involve the bride and groom. It involves their family and friends. If it takes a village to raise a child I would say it takes a serious support group to get 2 two people to the altar.

I mean you have to console the bride when her hair looks awful and you have to make sure the groom knows that this is temporary insanity (hopefully) on the brides part she’ll return to the woman he proposed to.

Needless to say I am close to people who are getting married and thus the direction of my most recent posts.

Forever, ever?

There are things I avoid thinking about. Things that make me a little weird for a girl. Those things I avoid thinking about are called Weddings. For some reason I have never given much thought (until recent months) about my own wedding – my likes and dislikes. I don’t particularly like anything about weddings – except for yours it was magnificent. I don’t particularly like wedding dresses, wedding cake, flowers, ceremonies, bridesmaids – I do like tuxes but I think that has more to do with Bond than with weddings. I don’t like the amount of money people spend on weddings (mainly because I know it is silly but dread when I actually get married and want to spend twice the normal amount on my own). I don’t like the pressure of thinking you need a date. I don’t like the questions that come when you do go to a wedding single (some day that will be you. Why are you still single, you’re so pretty!? [must be my personality]). I could go on and on but I will refrain since my complaints about weddings are not what I want to address today.

I have friend who is very similar to me in her feelings about all things bridal. And she is soon to be engaged – all that is standing in her way is a ring. You’d think that would be simple right? Wrong. A ring is very important, it isn’t just for the girl it is for the boy too. He gets to show how much he loves you and you get to wear that sucker on your finger for the rest of your life. See, think about that, the rest of your life. This isn’t some ring you picked up on vacation because you liked it and it fit your finger. This is a ring that has symbolism.

An engagement ring signifies a promise, a promise wed and thus spend the rest of your life with another person. You don’t get it because you like the way it sparkles – you can get cubic zirconium for that. This ring shows the world that someone wants you, only you. It also shows the world that you want that someone back. It is a A. BIG. DEAL. Right? I mean I’m not engaged this is only what I perceive. The ring isn’t just about the wearer, it is also about the giver.

Keeping all this in mind you also have to remember that this is ring that most people will wear for the rest of their lives (hopefully), very few people feel comfortable switching up their engagement/wedding band. So this ring choice is almost like a tattoo.

A quote from my friend in the midst of the great ring debate: “… on one hand, you know the wedding, the ring, that's not the most important thing right? It's bigger than that, but yet because it is such a big deal you want the kickoff to be absolutely magical. But how do you balance the two? One part of me says it doesn't really matter, look at the bigger picutre, who really cares...I don't....but yet, I totally do.”

Now take all of this meaning and mix in a girl very concerned with fashion, and not only fashion but with being original and unique. Not wanting a ring that everyone else has. Not to mention until this very moment she hasn’t even considered what she would like to wear on that left hand for the rest of her life. You have yourself the perfect recipe for a break down.

So I have done what any sane person has mind to do I have decided that I need to start looking at “engagement rings.” Not only in the interest of helping my friend decide what it is she wants but to avoid this type of hiccup in any future courtship. I mean what if I meet the guy of my dreams and then I come to find out we can’t get “engaged” until he has a ring with which to pop the question. I mean what is a girl to do, hold off on all wedding planning until she decides on a ring and then feel rushed when planning a wedding (I personally don’t believe in long engagements – 6 months at the max).

In the interest of being proactive I think I must start planning my wedding and deciding what it is I actually like about weddings and choose that for myself. It may seem silly and a little desperate, but hey I think in the long run everyone will be happier. Less bridezilla and more happy joyful bride. The future groom should thank me.

Ettiquette

Most people have common sense when it comes to what is socially acceptable and what is not. You know it is impolite to burp at the table (in western culture). You know not to pick a wedgie when at a nice event (where people can see). You know that please and thank you are “magic words.” I guess I am making a lot of assumptions, so I certainly hope that you know these common niceties. It is all simple etiquette.

However as I expand my experiences and as such expand the number and type of people that I encounter I find that things I think are common sense when it comes to politeness are maybe too extreme for them.

Let’s take something simple like a wedding (okay weddings are anything but simple). There are a manners for weddings. When you send a gift, what you send, arrival time and these are just things that you have to worry about if you are asked to attend someone’s wedding. One area that I have always felt is simple, falls into the realm of what NOT to wear to a wedding (it is often difficult for me to figure out what to wear). There are two things I know are inappropriate. The first of these are jeans, especially holey jeans. I mean people are joining their lives together jeans are just not appropriate (there are occasions where this could be broken: a wedding on a ranch or where the invite specifically says that jeans are permissible). If you wear jeans to a wedding you are showing a lack of respect for the bride and groom, and their family. Basically you look like you belong in the back country riding around on a tracker (not that there is anything wrong with that but is that really the impression you want to give to all of the people present at this party?).

There is in one rule in wedding day attire that is very clear and should never be crossed. White. The only person who should wear white or anything in the white family (ivory, champagne, off-white ect) is the bride. If you are going to a wedding resist wearing anything that resemble that of a bride (whether this be a dress for a bride getting married for the first time or second marriage dress). Bridal clothes are for the bride.

I always thought this was simple and clear.

If you show up in a bridal (white) dress you are going to look like a fool, a fool with no class and desperate to boot. Not to mention a complete and total bitch. I mean this is the bride’s day are you so insecure that you have to wear white too? Also you better watch your back, people will have noticed the white. The bride has friends (they’re called bridesmaids) and these brides are wearing matching dresses and are pissed on the brides behalf (not to mention that some of them may be pissed in the British sense of being a bit tipsy). So you better watch out for the maid of honor headed your way with that glass of red wine. That smile may look friendly but really it is feral and you’ll be wearing that wine when other bridesmaid “accidentally” bumps into the maid of honor from behind.

Why don’t you save yourself some heart ache and not wear the white dress to the wedding. Although on second thought that’s a show I’d like to see, so wear white and make it floor length.

Better than a Cup of Jo

I run. I run in the morning. I run in the morning, outside on the pavement.

Most mornings there is nothing to see just the cars as they drive by and the bicyclists as they nod their heads in greeting on their way to work. Sometimes there are other runners that speed by or walkers that I pass. Generally the most exciting thing on my morning runs is the conversation and the occasional squirrel. This past week though has been full of excitement.

Along the road I run on there is construction. There are the usual things you expect to see like traffic cones, big machines that do who knows what, dirt and gravel. There is also a porta-potty (that is always unlocked when we run by although there are no workers on duty yet). My current a.m. running partner likes to tell me her bodily needs and so I usually point out that if her needs are great, a place to go has been provided. Assuming of course that she can deal until we return to her house, and so far she has.

One morning as we are running a car pulls up by the toilet. I thought it was one of the construction workers and didn’t really think anything of it until a woman got out made a bee line for the porta potty, and I can only guess, made use of the facilities. She exited and got in her car and right back on the road. So in case you need a toilet I guess those ones on the side of the road are (always?) unlocked.

So when I am running I am aware of cars, bikers, runners and the occasional pit stopper. However I can’t tell who is in the car nor do I really care. I really am in the zone, loud noises startle me. I haven’t met a runner yet who appreciate a shout out or a car honk as they are running. It’s startling and makes my heart jump. Also I can’t tell if it is a warning honk or a happy honk. I met with my least favorite “shout out” this morning.

I am at the point in the run where I know I have a little further to go I can’t see the finish but I know I will soon. I am focused on my need to get home and shower and get to work. My friend and I aren’t even talking just running. And this car drives by and rolls down the window and decides to show me what a douche bag he and his passenger are. In a piercing yell the passenger shouts out “SLUT!” Not only is this offensive (and untrue) it’s annoying as hell.

I mean honestly I have no clue who you are. I doubt that I have done anything that qualifies me as a slut (or my running friend for that matter). And shouting profanities at women trying to get their run on shows what a loser you are. I’m not sure if you were thinking that we were walk of shaming it, since we were in running clothes and we were you know running. Or if you think you knew us and thus honestly think that yelling at two women running first thing in the morning is the best way to start your day. I know it isn’t my favorite way to start my day. So thanks for that d-bags in the white car hope your day sucked

Common Sense

There are many things in this day and age that are difficult to navigate. Things are different than when our grandparents navigated the same waters were are swimming in now. There are differences from our parents as well. Some of these are choices we make in regards to the environment, recycling conservation and the like, are things that aren’t new to us they are accepted. We know about the dangers that tuna presents to dolphins and we buy our cans accordingly. We’ve stopped getting the paper and get our news from the internet – not only does it save on paper but it’s faster too.

We buy more hi-tech gear. Gone are the days when it is was acceptable to wear any only tennis shoes running. Now shoes are specialized. Something for each sport, for each foot. We have more choices and those choices need to be the right choice. If I purchase the wrong athletic gear I won’t be performing at my top potential. And this is essential I mean now that I am in my late 20’s it is time for me to make my move on the sporting world, right?

We have gone from casual Fridays to jeans on Fridays to casual everyday and in some offices jeans every day. So I understand it is hard to keep up with this world and what is the right choice to make, the appropriate choice. Like the right shoes there is a situation that you find yourself in and you need to make the right purchase to excel in that situations. So I ask you this is wearing a romper to an office the right choice. A romper, for those of who don’t know, is a one piece article of clothing that includes shorts and usually a strapless top. It can come in many different fabrics and colors, it remains shorts and top combined into one thing. Please see the example below.

Surprisingly, I like the romper. I think it seems great as a swimsuit cover up or to go out dancing in. I do not think it is the right choice for the office. It is like wearing basketball shoes to play soccer in. Something that isn’t comfortable and you will most definitely regret.

I understand with so many choices and option in the world today and with the lowering of restrictions in the work place it might be hard to decide what is the right thing to wear.

My advice is to look around, what is everyone else wearing? Shorts and tanks tops? Then feel free to wear the romper (you should only wear a romper to the work if you are a baby that works! So I guess if you work with babies this could be confusing). If people are wearing suits and professional attire, perhaps a pair of khakis? The romper is the wrong choice. You wouldn’t wear flip flops on a five mile run would you?

I understand the fear of the previous generations. The romper has justified this for me. If we loosen up a little bit what can we expect next?

Come on romper wearer, please don’t ruin it for the rest of us, I like my casual Fridays!