I know I have been talking a lot about weddings and for someone who claims they don’t like anything to do with weddings 2 posts in a row is a lot.
Here’s the thing though, I have found that a wedding is does not just involve the bride and groom. It involves their family and friends. If it takes a village to raise a child I would say it takes a serious support group to get 2 two people to the altar.
I mean you have to console the bride when her hair looks awful and you have to make sure the groom knows that this is temporary insanity (hopefully) on the brides part she’ll return to the woman he proposed to.
Needless to say I am close to people who are getting married and thus the direction of my most recent posts.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Forever, ever?
There are things I avoid thinking about. Things that make me a little weird for a girl. Those things I avoid thinking about are called Weddings. For some reason I have never given much thought (until recent months) about my own wedding – my likes and dislikes. I don’t particularly like anything about weddings – except for yours it was magnificent. I don’t particularly like wedding dresses, wedding cake, flowers, ceremonies, bridesmaids – I do like tuxes but I think that has more to do with Bond than with weddings. I don’t like the amount of money people spend on weddings (mainly because I know it is silly but dread when I actually get married and want to spend twice the normal amount on my own). I don’t like the pressure of thinking you need a date. I don’t like the questions that come when you do go to a wedding single (some day that will be you. Why are you still single, you’re so pretty!? [must be my personality]). I could go on and on but I will refrain since my complaints about weddings are not what I want to address today.
I have friend who is very similar to me in her feelings about all things bridal. And she is soon to be engaged – all that is standing in her way is a ring. You’d think that would be simple right? Wrong. A ring is very important, it isn’t just for the girl it is for the boy too. He gets to show how much he loves you and you get to wear that sucker on your finger for the rest of your life. See, think about that, the rest of your life. This isn’t some ring you picked up on vacation because you liked it and it fit your finger. This is a ring that has symbolism.
An engagement ring signifies a promise, a promise wed and thus spend the rest of your life with another person. You don’t get it because you like the way it sparkles – you can get cubic zirconium for that. This ring shows the world that someone wants you, only you. It also shows the world that you want that someone back. It is a A. BIG. DEAL. Right? I mean I’m not engaged this is only what I perceive. The ring isn’t just about the wearer, it is also about the giver.
Keeping all this in mind you also have to remember that this is ring that most people will wear for the rest of their lives (hopefully), very few people feel comfortable switching up their engagement/wedding band. So this ring choice is almost like a tattoo.
A quote from my friend in the midst of the great ring debate: “… on one hand, you know the wedding, the ring, that's not the most important thing right? It's bigger than that, but yet because it is such a big deal you want the kickoff to be absolutely magical. But how do you balance the two? One part of me says it doesn't really matter, look at the bigger picutre, who really cares...I don't....but yet, I totally do.”
Now take all of this meaning and mix in a girl very concerned with fashion, and not only fashion but with being original and unique. Not wanting a ring that everyone else has. Not to mention until this very moment she hasn’t even considered what she would like to wear on that left hand for the rest of her life. You have yourself the perfect recipe for a break down.
So I have done what any sane person has mind to do I have decided that I need to start looking at “engagement rings.” Not only in the interest of helping my friend decide what it is she wants but to avoid this type of hiccup in any future courtship. I mean what if I meet the guy of my dreams and then I come to find out we can’t get “engaged” until he has a ring with which to pop the question. I mean what is a girl to do, hold off on all wedding planning until she decides on a ring and then feel rushed when planning a wedding (I personally don’t believe in long engagements – 6 months at the max).
In the interest of being proactive I think I must start planning my wedding and deciding what it is I actually like about weddings and choose that for myself. It may seem silly and a little desperate, but hey I think in the long run everyone will be happier. Less bridezilla and more happy joyful bride. The future groom should thank me.
I have friend who is very similar to me in her feelings about all things bridal. And she is soon to be engaged – all that is standing in her way is a ring. You’d think that would be simple right? Wrong. A ring is very important, it isn’t just for the girl it is for the boy too. He gets to show how much he loves you and you get to wear that sucker on your finger for the rest of your life. See, think about that, the rest of your life. This isn’t some ring you picked up on vacation because you liked it and it fit your finger. This is a ring that has symbolism.
An engagement ring signifies a promise, a promise wed and thus spend the rest of your life with another person. You don’t get it because you like the way it sparkles – you can get cubic zirconium for that. This ring shows the world that someone wants you, only you. It also shows the world that you want that someone back. It is a A. BIG. DEAL. Right? I mean I’m not engaged this is only what I perceive. The ring isn’t just about the wearer, it is also about the giver.
Keeping all this in mind you also have to remember that this is ring that most people will wear for the rest of their lives (hopefully), very few people feel comfortable switching up their engagement/wedding band. So this ring choice is almost like a tattoo.
A quote from my friend in the midst of the great ring debate: “… on one hand, you know the wedding, the ring, that's not the most important thing right? It's bigger than that, but yet because it is such a big deal you want the kickoff to be absolutely magical. But how do you balance the two? One part of me says it doesn't really matter, look at the bigger picutre, who really cares...I don't....but yet, I totally do.”
Now take all of this meaning and mix in a girl very concerned with fashion, and not only fashion but with being original and unique. Not wanting a ring that everyone else has. Not to mention until this very moment she hasn’t even considered what she would like to wear on that left hand for the rest of her life. You have yourself the perfect recipe for a break down.
So I have done what any sane person has mind to do I have decided that I need to start looking at “engagement rings.” Not only in the interest of helping my friend decide what it is she wants but to avoid this type of hiccup in any future courtship. I mean what if I meet the guy of my dreams and then I come to find out we can’t get “engaged” until he has a ring with which to pop the question. I mean what is a girl to do, hold off on all wedding planning until she decides on a ring and then feel rushed when planning a wedding (I personally don’t believe in long engagements – 6 months at the max).
In the interest of being proactive I think I must start planning my wedding and deciding what it is I actually like about weddings and choose that for myself. It may seem silly and a little desperate, but hey I think in the long run everyone will be happier. Less bridezilla and more happy joyful bride. The future groom should thank me.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Ettiquette
Most people have common sense when it comes to what is socially acceptable and what is not. You know it is impolite to burp at the table (in western culture). You know not to pick a wedgie when at a nice event (where people can see). You know that please and thank you are “magic words.” I guess I am making a lot of assumptions, so I certainly hope that you know these common niceties. It is all simple etiquette.
However as I expand my experiences and as such expand the number and type of people that I encounter I find that things I think are common sense when it comes to politeness are maybe too extreme for them.
Let’s take something simple like a wedding (okay weddings are anything but simple). There are a manners for weddings. When you send a gift, what you send, arrival time and these are just things that you have to worry about if you are asked to attend someone’s wedding. One area that I have always felt is simple, falls into the realm of what NOT to wear to a wedding (it is often difficult for me to figure out what to wear). There are two things I know are inappropriate. The first of these are jeans, especially holey jeans. I mean people are joining their lives together jeans are just not appropriate (there are occasions where this could be broken: a wedding on a ranch or where the invite specifically says that jeans are permissible). If you wear jeans to a wedding you are showing a lack of respect for the bride and groom, and their family. Basically you look like you belong in the back country riding around on a tracker (not that there is anything wrong with that but is that really the impression you want to give to all of the people present at this party?).
There is in one rule in wedding day attire that is very clear and should never be crossed. White. The only person who should wear white or anything in the white family (ivory, champagne, off-white ect) is the bride. If you are going to a wedding resist wearing anything that resemble that of a bride (whether this be a dress for a bride getting married for the first time or second marriage dress). Bridal clothes are for the bride.
I always thought this was simple and clear.
If you show up in a bridal (white) dress you are going to look like a fool, a fool with no class and desperate to boot. Not to mention a complete and total bitch. I mean this is the bride’s day are you so insecure that you have to wear white too? Also you better watch your back, people will have noticed the white. The bride has friends (they’re called bridesmaids) and these brides are wearing matching dresses and are pissed on the brides behalf (not to mention that some of them may be pissed in the British sense of being a bit tipsy). So you better watch out for the maid of honor headed your way with that glass of red wine. That smile may look friendly but really it is feral and you’ll be wearing that wine when other bridesmaid “accidentally” bumps into the maid of honor from behind.
Why don’t you save yourself some heart ache and not wear the white dress to the wedding. Although on second thought that’s a show I’d like to see, so wear white and make it floor length.
However as I expand my experiences and as such expand the number and type of people that I encounter I find that things I think are common sense when it comes to politeness are maybe too extreme for them.
Let’s take something simple like a wedding (okay weddings are anything but simple). There are a manners for weddings. When you send a gift, what you send, arrival time and these are just things that you have to worry about if you are asked to attend someone’s wedding. One area that I have always felt is simple, falls into the realm of what NOT to wear to a wedding (it is often difficult for me to figure out what to wear). There are two things I know are inappropriate. The first of these are jeans, especially holey jeans. I mean people are joining their lives together jeans are just not appropriate (there are occasions where this could be broken: a wedding on a ranch or where the invite specifically says that jeans are permissible). If you wear jeans to a wedding you are showing a lack of respect for the bride and groom, and their family. Basically you look like you belong in the back country riding around on a tracker (not that there is anything wrong with that but is that really the impression you want to give to all of the people present at this party?).
There is in one rule in wedding day attire that is very clear and should never be crossed. White. The only person who should wear white or anything in the white family (ivory, champagne, off-white ect) is the bride. If you are going to a wedding resist wearing anything that resemble that of a bride (whether this be a dress for a bride getting married for the first time or second marriage dress). Bridal clothes are for the bride.
I always thought this was simple and clear.
If you show up in a bridal (white) dress you are going to look like a fool, a fool with no class and desperate to boot. Not to mention a complete and total bitch. I mean this is the bride’s day are you so insecure that you have to wear white too? Also you better watch your back, people will have noticed the white. The bride has friends (they’re called bridesmaids) and these brides are wearing matching dresses and are pissed on the brides behalf (not to mention that some of them may be pissed in the British sense of being a bit tipsy). So you better watch out for the maid of honor headed your way with that glass of red wine. That smile may look friendly but really it is feral and you’ll be wearing that wine when other bridesmaid “accidentally” bumps into the maid of honor from behind.
Why don’t you save yourself some heart ache and not wear the white dress to the wedding. Although on second thought that’s a show I’d like to see, so wear white and make it floor length.
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