Thursday, August 12, 2010

Forever, ever?

There are things I avoid thinking about. Things that make me a little weird for a girl. Those things I avoid thinking about are called Weddings. For some reason I have never given much thought (until recent months) about my own wedding – my likes and dislikes. I don’t particularly like anything about weddings – except for yours it was magnificent. I don’t particularly like wedding dresses, wedding cake, flowers, ceremonies, bridesmaids – I do like tuxes but I think that has more to do with Bond than with weddings. I don’t like the amount of money people spend on weddings (mainly because I know it is silly but dread when I actually get married and want to spend twice the normal amount on my own). I don’t like the pressure of thinking you need a date. I don’t like the questions that come when you do go to a wedding single (some day that will be you. Why are you still single, you’re so pretty!? [must be my personality]). I could go on and on but I will refrain since my complaints about weddings are not what I want to address today.

I have friend who is very similar to me in her feelings about all things bridal. And she is soon to be engaged – all that is standing in her way is a ring. You’d think that would be simple right? Wrong. A ring is very important, it isn’t just for the girl it is for the boy too. He gets to show how much he loves you and you get to wear that sucker on your finger for the rest of your life. See, think about that, the rest of your life. This isn’t some ring you picked up on vacation because you liked it and it fit your finger. This is a ring that has symbolism.

An engagement ring signifies a promise, a promise wed and thus spend the rest of your life with another person. You don’t get it because you like the way it sparkles – you can get cubic zirconium for that. This ring shows the world that someone wants you, only you. It also shows the world that you want that someone back. It is a A. BIG. DEAL. Right? I mean I’m not engaged this is only what I perceive. The ring isn’t just about the wearer, it is also about the giver.

Keeping all this in mind you also have to remember that this is ring that most people will wear for the rest of their lives (hopefully), very few people feel comfortable switching up their engagement/wedding band. So this ring choice is almost like a tattoo.

A quote from my friend in the midst of the great ring debate: “… on one hand, you know the wedding, the ring, that's not the most important thing right? It's bigger than that, but yet because it is such a big deal you want the kickoff to be absolutely magical. But how do you balance the two? One part of me says it doesn't really matter, look at the bigger picutre, who really cares...I don't....but yet, I totally do.”

Now take all of this meaning and mix in a girl very concerned with fashion, and not only fashion but with being original and unique. Not wanting a ring that everyone else has. Not to mention until this very moment she hasn’t even considered what she would like to wear on that left hand for the rest of her life. You have yourself the perfect recipe for a break down.

So I have done what any sane person has mind to do I have decided that I need to start looking at “engagement rings.” Not only in the interest of helping my friend decide what it is she wants but to avoid this type of hiccup in any future courtship. I mean what if I meet the guy of my dreams and then I come to find out we can’t get “engaged” until he has a ring with which to pop the question. I mean what is a girl to do, hold off on all wedding planning until she decides on a ring and then feel rushed when planning a wedding (I personally don’t believe in long engagements – 6 months at the max).

In the interest of being proactive I think I must start planning my wedding and deciding what it is I actually like about weddings and choose that for myself. It may seem silly and a little desperate, but hey I think in the long run everyone will be happier. Less bridezilla and more happy joyful bride. The future groom should thank me.

1 comment:

Kristine said...

Oh my gosh, I think this is the most stressful blog post I've ever read. You just said it all exactly! I've never been interested in planning my wedding. (I have exactly two details planned.) I usually don't enjoy other people's weddings. I have major moral qualms (not to mention practicality qualms) with spending buckets of money on a wedding. But at the same time, I don't like tacky, cheap, or just-like-every-other-wedding. I feel like the most monumental day of my life, and the most important relationship of my life, deserve a celebration to beat all celebrations. I'm sure there's happy middle ground somewhere... But I don't have the energy to figure out where it is. I'll wait until it's actually relevant!