Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Ugh Change the Station

You know those songs that you hate. And there isn't really any concrete reason for it? Sure the lyrics are ridiculous, most songs' are, and the tune isn't amazing or ground breaking but nothing truly offensive about it. Yet something about it just grates.

Right now that song is "According to You" by Orianthi. I hate that song. HATE it.

Generally speaking it is just you typical pop song about hating on an ex and finding someone who loves you for you. You know typical pop song. However the lyrics grate and I can't help but think about the logical of the situation.

Here is the gist of the song. She, the singer, had this ex who thought she was dumb unattractive and basically worthless. Umm....here's a question why the hell would you date someone like that let alone, hang out with them. I have met people like that in my life and you know how much time I spend with them? As little as humanly possible. You know what life is hard enough without being around those kind of people.

In addition to dating this crappy guy she also is writing an entire song telling him that she found someone who thinks she is great. Well okay that's awesome and all but why are you STILL hung up on the guy that treated you like crap 9otherwise why are you writing a song too him)? I mean he didn't like you when he was with you, what makes you think he cares that you found someone? Also he probably thinks your new guy is an idiot.

I mean honestly the whole things bugs. A guy thinks you are the scum of the earth still dates you and in response you write him a song? He doesn't care.

Although apparently I do, enough to rant about it.

(I refuse to post the video - if you must listen then search on your own).

Friday, March 19, 2010

Oh Sorry You're Never Getting Out of There

Boy/Girl relationships are weird. Sometimes good weird, sometimes just plain weird. I have coined a new term (well new for me)...the "Asexual Box." I feel like it is pretty self explanatory - but then again anytime I think that people totally misunderstand me.

So for those of you who don't get it; the Asexual Box is the place you go when I know that that I will never have any desire to hook up with you. This box does come in different forms; there is the "I love you like a Brother," "You are my Brother," "You are Married/Engaged/In a Serious Relationship with my best friend," "You are way to old for me," "Hello, you are my boss," "I'm really Just not Attracted to you, Sorry" and then of course, the "Just Friends Box." In all of these cases I have pretty much stopped thinking of you as a sexual being.

I think a lot of girls are like this. They are able to categorize the opposite sex into those they would possibly do and those they would not. (I know that guys are totally different).

For me at least it would take a lot for you to work your way out of the Asexual Box I have placed you in. For some it would be impossible. For some of you dudes out there that box is sealed so tightly shut there metal that constructs the box is soldered closed.

I know you might thinks that's harsh. Is it because you find yourself in one of my Asexual Boxes?

Anyway, the thing about these boxes is that I assume I am in a corresponding one for you. If I love you like a brother I figure you love me like a sister.... I hope you get the point. In my mind here we are having this boy/girl relationship with no sexual tension, laughing and joking and hanging out. I assume you feel nothing because I feel nothing. Well by nothing I mean I really don't want you making your way across the couch and try to kiss me.

If a situation presents itself where I realize the Asexual Box I have been residing in is made more of cardboard than metal and I could bust out of there at any moment. In fact it is possible the Asexual box you have me in is more like the ones mimes are in. I'm not going to lie it perplexes me.

I am the kind of person that is really good at putting people in categories and leaving them there. If you are married then you cease to have any appeal to me. I mean you are married! Even if you are just someones boyfriend I can accept that. I have never read that as a challenge to try and steal you away.

So when I find out that I have shifted column from Asexual to sexual I am a little confused as to how that happened. And then I worry if you feel like maybe you've broken out of your box. The answer to that question is no you haven't. Not to say that some people don't reside in a middle box the "Sexual w/o Possibilities Box." There is something there and I don't mind the idea of you trying to make a move on me but it's be better for our friendship if you didn't (this box never includes dudes that are taken).

I realize that as a woman my ideas on this are totally different that a guys. I mean what boxes do you have. Will she let me or won't she?

Not that I don't think that guys and girls can't be friends, on a purely platonic level. I honestly believe it is 100% possible. Is there a chance that one might want more from the relationship? Yes. However if you are clear from the being and the other person involved isn't delusional thinking that no means yes, then absolutely boys and girls can be friends.

Just be clear, a nice "I would NEVER date you," should be sufficient.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Does my ass look big in this?

Well, honey, I'm not sure if fat is what I would say, I can see your ass in that. And by I see I mean I think you need some new pants. When they say running tights they don't literally mean tights. Running tights are just really tight work out pants. like leggings but thicker and less see through.

I know I recently have mentioned people a the gym not wearing clothes, and this incident didn't happen at the gym. I ran in a race, one of those events that you sign up for and people go nuts for.

The person with the see through pants, wasn't trying to dress crazy like many people were, there was a guy in a teletubby costume. No this woman who I happen to be keeping pace right behind, where just wearing the see through pants, a regular long sleeved shirt and a tiara. If you had seen other people then you would know that she was tame in comparison. A guy blew past me sweating profusely but don't worry his wig and head band stayed firmly in place. I also don't think she was or is the worst offender (see previous post regarding becoming familiar with your fellow gym members waxing preferences).

Needless to say I feel safe in my criticism here. I debated for those five miles if I should tell her her pants are see through I mean surely she didn't know, right? And I thought I would want someone to tell me wouldn't I?

I have to confess I did not tell her. Something similar had happened to me once. I have this sweater dress and I usually wears leggings, or skinny jeans with it, it is covers my butt but is in that length where you ask your self shirt or dress (usually I go with shirt if that is a possible question). One time I wore it and thought you know I bet tights will be fine, they are opaque, it'll be like leggings. Well the butt part of the leggings was light pink and the sweater is a wider knit and this my ass was revealed. I was told but couldn't really do anything about it. And thus for the rest of the day at WORK, I had to be very conscientious of my ass. (I would like it to be noted I did check this out in the mirror before I left home. I need better lighting in my room).

So I decided not to tell her, I mean what is she going to do about it? Nothing, but she would know her ass was revealed and feel stupid for the rest of their race. Hopefully her friends told her on their way home last night.

So when you wonder what I did Sunday morning, it was stare at ass for 5 miles straight.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Gym Rat

Recently I joined a gym. I joined one that has classes and a pool. I have belong to gyms before. The most recent one was more of a hippy kind of gym.

There was a patron there who I swear had been working out in the same shirt for the last 20 years. It was slowly falling apart from the bottom, and he wore those shorty running shorts that older guys sometimes wear. I would like to note that though the guy was definitely older he did have six-pack abs. So he'd been working out a lot over the years, and the shirt showed it. I worked out there for months and no one ever really talked to me, which I was fine with. I don't go to the gym for conversation.

My new gym on the other had is a totally different scene. My first day there I was wandering around checking things out, the work out machines, etc. I had not worked out yet, and was just walking around waiting for my class to start. This guy walks up to me, now let me give the full picture on him. He is shorter, not terribly fit, but not crazy outta shape, wearing a white t-shirt, black sweat pants and a black and white checkered scarf tied around his head. No not a bandanna type scarf the long rectangular kind. You like you wrap around your neck on a cold day. He gives me a head nod and then I move on. In my lap around the weight room, we meet again and he asks how my work out is going. I said good, even though I hadn't been working out.

I head into the class I was waiting for and he follows me in. Okay I don't know if he followed me in, but he came in shortly after I did. And then he barely made it through 15 minutes of the class.

This event has not deterred me from the gym though. I have returned and I am trying to take classes. Something that I think is important to note is that I played sports as a kid. Soccer, basketball, volley ball etc. I did not take dance classes. And now things are difficult for me in aerobic classes. I have gone to this Hip Hop Dance class and I suck. And there are people that are really freaking good, by the end of the class I can barely remember the steps we learned in the first 10 minutes let alone, put the whole thing together at the end.

The thing I most want to talk about it the out fit I was stuck behind today in Kickboxing. The girl had obviously taken the class before, she knew all the moves was really working it, and getting into the class, which good for her. I am glad she was enjoying her work out. You know what I wasn't enjoying about that class was standing behind her in her short shorts and basically seeing her lady bits.

I don't know how much you know about kickboxing but there is a kick that you do behind you and when you do this properly certain parts of you could be exposed. That is you are not wearing the right kind of bottom attire. She was wearing indecent bottom attire. And I couldn't look away. It was really ruining my work out, I was concerned what the people behind me could see and I was wearing pants!

I'll keep you posted on all the crazies I see at the gym, I have a feeling scarf guy and Miss I'm not ashamed of my lady parts will only be the beginning.