Friday, March 19, 2010

Oh Sorry You're Never Getting Out of There

Boy/Girl relationships are weird. Sometimes good weird, sometimes just plain weird. I have coined a new term (well new for me)...the "Asexual Box." I feel like it is pretty self explanatory - but then again anytime I think that people totally misunderstand me.

So for those of you who don't get it; the Asexual Box is the place you go when I know that that I will never have any desire to hook up with you. This box does come in different forms; there is the "I love you like a Brother," "You are my Brother," "You are Married/Engaged/In a Serious Relationship with my best friend," "You are way to old for me," "Hello, you are my boss," "I'm really Just not Attracted to you, Sorry" and then of course, the "Just Friends Box." In all of these cases I have pretty much stopped thinking of you as a sexual being.

I think a lot of girls are like this. They are able to categorize the opposite sex into those they would possibly do and those they would not. (I know that guys are totally different).

For me at least it would take a lot for you to work your way out of the Asexual Box I have placed you in. For some it would be impossible. For some of you dudes out there that box is sealed so tightly shut there metal that constructs the box is soldered closed.

I know you might thinks that's harsh. Is it because you find yourself in one of my Asexual Boxes?

Anyway, the thing about these boxes is that I assume I am in a corresponding one for you. If I love you like a brother I figure you love me like a sister.... I hope you get the point. In my mind here we are having this boy/girl relationship with no sexual tension, laughing and joking and hanging out. I assume you feel nothing because I feel nothing. Well by nothing I mean I really don't want you making your way across the couch and try to kiss me.

If a situation presents itself where I realize the Asexual Box I have been residing in is made more of cardboard than metal and I could bust out of there at any moment. In fact it is possible the Asexual box you have me in is more like the ones mimes are in. I'm not going to lie it perplexes me.

I am the kind of person that is really good at putting people in categories and leaving them there. If you are married then you cease to have any appeal to me. I mean you are married! Even if you are just someones boyfriend I can accept that. I have never read that as a challenge to try and steal you away.

So when I find out that I have shifted column from Asexual to sexual I am a little confused as to how that happened. And then I worry if you feel like maybe you've broken out of your box. The answer to that question is no you haven't. Not to say that some people don't reside in a middle box the "Sexual w/o Possibilities Box." There is something there and I don't mind the idea of you trying to make a move on me but it's be better for our friendship if you didn't (this box never includes dudes that are taken).

I realize that as a woman my ideas on this are totally different that a guys. I mean what boxes do you have. Will she let me or won't she?

Not that I don't think that guys and girls can't be friends, on a purely platonic level. I honestly believe it is 100% possible. Is there a chance that one might want more from the relationship? Yes. However if you are clear from the being and the other person involved isn't delusional thinking that no means yes, then absolutely boys and girls can be friends.

Just be clear, a nice "I would NEVER date you," should be sufficient.

1 comment:

Ariel said...

i tend to put most guys in the asexual box and if they care to they can work really hard to get out.