Sunday, June 29, 2008

Being Single otherwise known as BEING ALONE

I really honestly don't mind not having a boyfriend. There is no one I know that I would like to have the position and frankly they seem like a lot of work. I don't know if I have time to deal with one. I'm still figuring out what it is I want from life let alone having to work with what someone wants from me.

However I feel like a boyfriend would make my life easier. I often have to go to friends birthday parties or weddings. This in itself is not bad except when I don't really know anyone or everyone there is with a significant other. Then I am the odd one out. I have to drive alone to this event (they are not always close).

Then I deal with everyone setting me up. "You're funny we've got this friend who would be perfect for you!" Then they turn to the person they came with, "Don't you think so, Honey?" Then depending on how much the boyfriend/girlfriend is participating I get a nod or something like a "Totally!" The rest of the conversation relates to the set up how I prefer it done and so on.

I am open to this potential set up, usually. There are a lot of factors; how close of friends I am with the people doing the setting up, and how attractive the friends' of theirs' I have met are. Although the set ups rarely happen and it is all just conversation.

Also I think some close friends are wondering what is wrong with me. How come I never have a boyfriend? Or at least a date? Well I never meet anyone I want to take anywhere. All my dates end miserably. Sometimes they end arguing over Star Wars (I haven't seen the three recent ones and those were the ones we were arguing over). They don't get my jokes or vice versa and so on.

I think the most awful moment regarding being single happened at a friends wedding. He was getting married before he had finished college and I was in my last year. I brought my roommate (I didn't want to drive alone). The seating was open and we were sitting with another friend who had driven down for it and then some friend's of the bride. This woman turns to the three of us and says; "So is it weird that you are graduating from college..." There is a huge pause and we all answer in the affirmative, it is weird. Then she continues, "And not even married?" Uh, no but thanks for making me feel like it's weird.

I think it makes people vaguely uncomfortable to. "Oh, you came without a date? I think I can find someone for you." Thanks for making me feel like half a person. I felt fine showing up alone until you made me feel awkward. I hope I never do that when I am in a relationship. I mean most people have been single for a time. At least I hope they spent some time getting to know themselves.

A boyfriend would save me from all of this. He would be required to come with me to these events and he would stop all ideas of setting me up. Although we would have to field questions about when were thinking about getting engaged. So there is a con to all this. Not to mention that there isn't a guy I have met recently that I could stand to make extended conversation to or failing that imagine my self at least making out with.

I guess for now though I'll have to keep living my life like that dinner party from the Bridget Jones: Diary movie (where everyone is staring at her alone at the end of the table and she gets asked about why she can't find a man to marry).

No comments: