Monday, August 4, 2008

What I Am

How do people know what they want. How do people determine what they want to do everyday? How do they keep up the "dream" and stick with it? I find myself wanting something new everyday. I mean when I was a kid I wanted to be one of these three things; actress, model or singer. Turns out I am none of the above, not that I am much of anything as far as career's go right now. That changed as I realized I didn't have the drive, or height to achieve those dreams.

I changed to being a lawyer. It sounded smart and interesting. Then I worked in a law firm and I was bored. So three years of really expensive school are now out. Now my ideal life changes on a daily basis. Trophy wife, that would be nice but I might get bored. Actress gets revisited, although I don't think I have the desire necessary for it. Also anything that would make me famous I am now leery of. I would hate to be stalked by photographers.

So I wonder how to people choose something. How did they figure out what it was they loved above everything else? I have no clue what it is I am really good at. I have no idea what it is I love and what I would love to do everyday. There are somethings I think of but then I wonder if I could stick with it or if I am really that good at it.

I am plagued by doubts. I wonder if I can surpass them and become the person I am supposed to be instead of what I am.

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