Monday, October 19, 2009

What is Love?

I love talking with my friends their insight and opinions on life never cease to amaze and inspire me. Sometimes I cringe and wonder how they can think that way but more often than not I am reaffirmed in my personal thought and often find more clarity than what I was looking for. When in the midst of these good discussions/talks I lose track of time and just want things to go on and on.

A discussion and thought that I think that most people who aren't in love, married whatever think about. There are a lot of thing that I "know" logically yet I'm not ready to emotionally come to gripes with. One of my favorite movie quotes comes from Saving Silverman; "Doesn't 'One and only someone' mean; One and Only?" That brings up the question of whether or not there is a one and only, the infamous soul mate. Does that exist?

In all honesty I don't think so. At least that is what my mind tells me, my heart is a totally different story. And I think the mind comes into play here because I know that love is more than just an instantaneous feeling. It is something that grows and becomes more as you get to know someone better. At least that is the way I feel that most relationships do. The more you understand the more you love.

I had a friend put the idea this way: If attraction/love is like a fire if it a huge fireball of flames those are going to burn out at sometime there is just no way to maintain that level of passion consistently. Instead if you build love, like a fire and continue to feel it wood it grows bigger and the flame stays around. I don't know if I am doing the description justice. I hope you get the idea.

My mind understands this concept and I agree that this is supposedly the best way that loves survives you constantly feed it.

I have even had another friend who said there have been plenty of perfectly good guys she could be happy being married to. She just wasn't ready for a relationship. I don't know if I agree or disagree with this sentiment or not. I am pretty sure that I disagree there are a lot of guys I have met, perfectly nice and great guys that I COULD not be happily married to, then again maybe I am just more close minded.

Then there comes this idea how do you know you are with/marrying the right person? I've heard many different theories most of them boil down to this: When it is right you know. Helpful I know. So I asked my Grandmother today, who met my grandfather labor day weekend and married him December 30 of the same year, when she knew. He. my grandfather knew on their first date, well before that. He asked her to marry him and kept at it until she said yes. She didn't know until after they were married. Even on their wedding day she had doubts. So does that blow the idea that you will know out of the water? A little.

I think that movies have played a HUGE role in what we expect from love and romance. I am not going to lie I want that big moment. You know the one where the music swells and your eyes meet across the room and you know you cannot live without each other.

Here is the thing though shouldn't you be a complete person without them? I know I could live without. I think the ultimate goal is that life with much better with that person by your side. Maybe that is the goal find someone who makes everything better.

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