Dear Man with the Staring Problem and Girlfriend,

I guess this shouldn't just be addressed to you, this is to all the guys that have a staring problem. Admittedly I find it pretty amusing and somewhat flattering when guys check me out, so thank you. However you sir in particular you took up a notch.

For those of you reading this open letter let me give you some salient points. It was a Saturday morning, before 9:00 a.m. I have little makeup on, and have not showered and I should have since I went hot tubing the night before, also the night before I stayed up until 2 or 3 in the morning watching "Gossip Girl." Also I am wearing the same clothes I put on after work, I did not sleep in these clothes. And these clothes are led Zeppelin T-shirt that is not tight and is a crew neck. Some skinny jeans boots a long cardigan and a huge scarf. So not that I looked horrible, I just wasn't looking super fantastic. I was grabbing a morning steamed soy milk, with hazelnut syrup and waiting for my drink, with a friend.

And then you walked in, with your lady friend. I can only assume you were in some sort of relationship with her, it was before nine in the morning. You looked me up and down not once not twice, but several more times than that. Also there was prolonged staring. I wold also like to note for those of you who know me well, I was not being loud and or disruptive. I was talking with my friend in a normal-ish manner, just waiting for our morning beverages.

I have the habit of shrugging this type of stuff off, because a. what am I going to say to this stranger? "Stop looking at me?" b. I will be out of the coffee shop shortly so I can handle it for a few minutes.

Here is where I have issues. I made eye contact with him. Just a straight forward look in the eye. I really couldn't figure out why he was staring at me. And he starts acting all guilty. So I think whatever weirdo. And move on with my life.

Then this same thing happened a few times throughout the week (I must have been wearing the right clothes are something). And I start making eye contact with all these guys. I mean you were looking at me? Why is it so weird that I start looking at you? You were not being subtle about checking me out, so why are you acting all weird about it? You obviously are either really bad at it or you wanted me to catch you.

I don't really have anything else to say about this just if you are going to stare/check out girls accept that she might make eye contact with you. Also maybe you shouldn't check out a girl quite so intensely if you are with your girl, that is just plain awkward.

Love and Kisses,

Dagny

Action!

My roommate in college came up with this concept, idea, whatever and I still to this day find myself doing it.

Here is how it all started, well from what I know, maybe she had been doing this for years and she never told anyone until me. She was walking across campus and it was a whatever kind of day. I don't remember it being fabulous or horrible or any of those types of things that make a day stick out. It was just your regular run of the mill trek across campus. If I recall she was feeling a little blah.

Then she came up with this concept to fight the blahs and feel a little better about herself. She thought what if there was a camera filming me right now? How would I walk? How would this cross campus walk look? What would I be doing differently if there were camera's here right now? And then; "3-2-1 ACTION!" Was born. She didn't just think this thought she acted on it. And you know what the answer to that question was; she walked a little taller, with more purpose, she stopped looking at her feet straightened her shoulders and put a little swagger in her step.

And then she came home and asked if she was crazy, her sister had told she was a little weird. I disagreed I thought it was a great idea. So anytime were were doing anything and we felt like we needed a little something more. One of us would turn to the other and say action. And just like BAM, we were super stars. Sure it might have been a little fake but eventually that over bright smile became a little more natural and we laughed at stupid things. I mean how do you act when you are doing homework and there is a camera on you? Or when you are washing your face?

Right now - ACTION! Did you just sit up a little straighter, debate about biting your finger nails as you read, brush your hair back or arrange yourself on your bed a little more coquettishly. I did and I am sitting her typing in some patterned green leggings, an over sized grey shirt I either sleep in or work out in (it read reads "Friday Harbor" across the front), and hair fresh from the shower. Definitely not a film worthy outfit.

So if you are feeling a little down and your walk is need of something extra then think "3-2-1 ACTION!" and you will be that much closer to your movie star moment. I know I''' be thinking about it on my next stroll from my desk to the bathroom. My [ponytail will have that extra bounce it needs to really complete my outfit.

Mystery Solved

It isn't any secret that I love fashion magazines. I generally love all women's magazines, well I'm not a huge "Good Housekeeping" fan, but I'll check it out if it available. Gossip Mags are fine, but I really love those fashion magazines, the ones with ridiculous clothes and articles about arty movies, and the like. So my favorites, since I am sure you are wondering are; "Vogue," "W," "Harper's Bazaar," and "Elle." And then there is what I like to consider a subculture of the Fashion Magazines, the women's magazines, the ones that are really intended for your single girl, in her mid twenties to mid whenever she stops wanting to reading the articles on how and where to catch a man.

These magazine amuse and annoy me. They really don't have a category. There are fashion spreads, articles on what are the latest and greatest books, movies and music to check out, health and beauty articles, workouts you name it is probably in there. There is one type of article they are particularly known for, sex articles.

The best part of these is the headlines on the cover they are generally ridiculous. Although they are effective you do want to flip the magazine open and see what they have to say. I personally think that "Cosmopolitan" is the best of these magazines. Take a look at the current cover with Carrie Underwood on the cover.

If you look there in the upper left hand corner you can see the headline, tag line whatever; "How to touch a Naked Man."

Now I don't want to talk about how these articles are making us as women feel inferior if we aren't attached to a man, I think that has been covered by people who feel passionately about that subject (besides the point that I think that it is women that buy these magazines by choice - if you don't like it don't buy it).

Anyway, what I want to talk about is how ludicrous these articles are. I cannot speak for the particular article, "How to touch a naked man" but I have read multiple articles like this before mainly for the very reason I want to know what they had to say. I mean can you tell me honestly that you have no desire to see what someone wrote on how to touch a naked man. I mean how did they fill up an entire age on this?

After seeing this cover I have done an informal interview of men in my acquaintance just to see if I was completely erroneous in my assumption. I wasn't apparently it is simple, just touch him. I just saved you $3.95. I can' say there aren't better suggestions in there I haven't read it and I probably won't.

I have read my fare share of articles like this though so I am pretty sure that I will be just fine not reading this article. I mean I read the one about what guys are thinking. And I don't want to say that men are transparent, I honestly don't think they are, but when you break the article into what they are thinking in certain situations it really isn't that hard to figure out. I am a little embarrassed to admit that I read an article that told me what men are thinking when they watch porn, yep that is right apparently there are people/women out there who don't know.

I could go on and on about the different topic that they have, "The hour men most want sex" who knew there was one hour more than all the others? I think on every cover of Cosmo there is the word "sex" in extremely large font. And lets be honest once you or I read the article it really isn't all that fabulous. It never enlightens me to something I didn't either know, suspect or really cared about in the first place.

Just in case you were wondering what that article about what he most wants to see you wearing don't bother (he wants to see you in nothing) it isn't going to give you the answers you really seek.

Harumika

I know what?! Right? I was browsing the doll section at Target the other day. I like to keep up on what barbie is wearing and wondering what career choice I should be aiming for. Anyway I happen upon the most terrifying doll I have ever seen. Okay maybe not scarier than Chucky, but this is still completely creepy. It is called Harumika. And it looks like the this:

I don't know how well you can see the face on this doll. Zoom in if you can. She has no eyes and no hair and a wig.

It is supposed to be a doll that increases creativity, you create the clothes she wears with the fabric provided and there is a slit in her back that you can "lock" the fabric in better with. But she has no face, just a white doll, they are called mannequins so I guess they aren't going for your typical doll, but they do have names, so I'm confused.

I don't really get the point either, or maybe I'm just not that creative. How much can you do with a strip of cloth that doesn't involve sewing. I mean you can reuse it again and again, so there is that, but you can't really make pants or anything and from what I have observed, watching the video provided on the website ( www.harumika.com). I mean it seems like I was a. already doing this with my Barbie's and I would rather get more clothes.

It is just a creepy, creepy doll.

Happy Happy Valentine's

You probably don't know this but I am going to tell you anyway. I LOVE Valentine's Day! I know weird right? For a single girl to not be all bitter about it, right? Honestly though I do like it. There are hearts and pink everywhere. And there's candy! Maybe that's why I like it I have a soft spot for conversation hearts. And I really do love conversation hearts.

One thing I also like are cheesy loves songs. I had a friend in college and she just loved love songs. If people asked her what type of music she liked the answer was loves songs. Pop, country, rock whatever it was as long as it was a love song she liked it. So here are some love songs that will make you smile. At least they make me smile.

On my way to work today I heard this little gem.



And I also heard this the other day and found it enjoyable. Not the best song but I still like it. The beginning of the video is pretty good too.



Man why are love songs so awesome - especially the horrible ones? I'm not saying there aren't any good loves songs out there. There are. Well all know some of them and probably disagree about others. I just think that cheesy songs fit better for the holiday.

I do like the following as a long song though. Just the right amount of cheese with some heart.



And finally via an Outcast shout out I wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day! Embrace the cheese and fall in love with Valentine's Day!

Aren't you afraid that your Mother will read that? No, okay then.

I like rap/hip-hip/R &B music. There is one thing that fascinates me about it though. The lyrics that they write. Well I assume they are written and the artist isn't just in the studio and spouting off random words (I am not a hundred percent convinces of this - WHAT!? I'm looking at you Lil Jon, OKAY!)

What constantly astounds me are the content of the lyrics they do write, the sexual nature of them. Did the rapper overhear a conversation and think great I can write a whole song based on this. For example a personal favorite from the summer, "Birthday Sex." Yes, the lyrics are pretty horrible they include this line "Don't need candles or cake just need your body to make...Birthday Sex." Yes, it is literally a song about giving a girl nothing but sex for her birthday which I am sure she loved, more than presents.

My question is where does that lyric come from? Were you thinking about what to get you girl for her birthday and were like hmmm..... jewelry might be nice, nah. What about a nice dinner, nope she eats all the time. I got it! I'll give her sex! And then where does the jump go to writing a song about it.

There are hundreds of options for this idea; "from the window to the wall to the sweat drop down my balls." I mean honestly you just wrote about balls!!! How do you do that?

I also love the songs that seem all romantic and nice and then you listen to the lyrics....

Just in case you missed it, the hook to this is "I want to make love in this club." I mean really? How romantic and sweet is that?

I just want to know the thought process behind these songs. Does it go something like this; does it talk about women? check. Does it address how much I want them in bed? check. Does it include taking clothes off? check. Will it make my mom uncomfortable to hear me singing these lyrics in a concert, on the radio or any other public forum? Absolutely. And bingo folks we have a hit!

It isn't that all songs are like this some of them are very clever. "Treat you like you're from Milwaukee, send you Green Bay Packin" Okay maybe not the most clever line but it always makes me smile. Also this one, "I'm roasting marshmallows on a fire, and what I'm burning is your attire."

In all honesty I really do love this music even when it is crappy, then it is just makes me laugh at the ridiculousness of it and it is always great to dance to.